Doing what!!

अब के जो पलट के देखू सहमी सी है राहे थामे मेरे सपनो को खामोशी से बुलाये

में कहाँ और मेरे ख्याल कहाँ ।

well as i sit in my hostel room trying to cram in the giangantic protocols of fiddling with plasmids or cutting the DNA or its transfer i wish i dint have to do them.Its not that i dont like doing but i dont like the way they are done.Cramming each and every concentrations,reactions,molecular wts,formulae and composition and then these not just for one protocaol,doing the same for minimum 20-25 at once are just too much!!I know the basic principle and obviously when in future i have to perform them i will consult standard protocols avaliable in the labs.I hate cramming things in my head.I dont understand it is a test for How much you can cram or understanding???

And then i wonder about the various things which i had to do because i had to,had no other option.I wish i could live my life im my way always.Im not being negative so one positive thought here is that i dont regret not becoming a docter which ofcourse my parents wanted me to be.It would been a pleasure to make their wish come true and gave my best for it,but now when i look back i seriously dont have any disappointment.I m happy with what im doing but sometimes loose my temper as have to follow rules and cannot explore my known way out.

I wish to be a photographer,specificaly wildlife photographer or a painter.Well i know what really keeps me happy even in odd times so i will definately sometime spiceup my life with these tastes,in small way infact im already doing.Infact recently have started writing a book"Birth of perception",thanks to a software i found over internet which gave wings to my thoughts.

Wow! as i wrote this i got inspire to go back to my work.....to cram protocols in my head.